Satellite Players are Retards

I played a $2.20 satellite to get into the Sunday Hundred Grand. It just amazes me how bad some of the players in these are. I don't know if it was the small buy-in or if it the fact that they don't know how to play these. There were 121 runners for 22 seats into the $10+1 buy-in event.

My strategy is to try and limp early and hit big. I rarely splash a lot of chips around early unless I get a good hand and I will take a chance to double up early. Its the 3rd hand of the tournament and I pick up Q,Q UTG+1.

POKERSTARS GAME #11498602072: TOURNAMENT #57906358, $2.00+$0.20 HOLD'EM NO LIMIT - LEVEL I (10/20) - 2007/08/15 - 09:27:27 (ET)
Table '57906358 3' 9-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 2: jellysticks (1900 in chips)
Seat 3: PokerDBqueeN (1350 in chips)
Seat 4: Supersnorkel (1390 in chips)
Seat 5: kensuro (1460 in chips)
Seat 6: azzo99 (1500 in chips)
Seat 7: orangeflame (1440 in chips)
Seat 8: scottc25 (1500 in chips)
Seat 9: punker71 (1460 in chips)
kensuro: posts small blind 10
azzo99: posts big blind 20
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to scottc25 [Qd Qc]
orangeflame: calls 20
scottc25: raises 100 to 120
punker71: folds
jellysticks: folds
PokerDBqueeN: raises 400 to 520
Supersnorkel: folds
kensuro: folds
azzo99: folds
orangeflame: folds
scottc25: raises 980 to 1500 and is all-in
PokerDBqueeN: calls 830 and is all-in
*** FLOP *** [2d 7h 5h]
*** TURN *** [2d 7h 5h] [8h]
*** RIVER *** [2d 7h 5h 8h] [4h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
scottc25: shows [Qd Qc] (a pair of Queens)
PokerDBqueeN: shows [Kd Ah] (a flush, Ace high)
PokerDBqueeN collected 2750 from pot
grunter1 is connected
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 2750 | Rake 0
Board [2d 7h 5h 8h 4h]
Seat 2: jellysticks folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: PokerDBqueeN showed [Kd Ah] and won (2750) with a flush, Ace high
Seat 4: Supersnorkel (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: kensuro (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 6: azzo99 (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 7: orangeflame folded before Flop
Seat 8: scottc25 showed [Qd Qc] and lost with a pair of Queens
Seat 9: punker71 folded before Flop (didn't bet)


Well that sucks. How I have to pick a hand in the next lap or so and go with it. I get K,10 off on the button with one limper and I shove.

POKERSTARS GAME #11498639237: TOURNAMENT #57906358, $2.00+$0.20 HOLD'EM NO LIMIT - LEVEL I (10/20) - 2007/08/15 - 09:31:30 (ET)
Table '57906358 3' 9-max Seat #8 is the button
Seat 1: grunter1 (1480 in chips)
Seat 2: jellysticks (1900 in chips)
Seat 3: PokerDBqueeN (2750 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 4: Supersnorkel (1530 in chips)
Seat 5: kensuro (1420 in chips)
Seat 7: orangeflame (1350 in chips)
Seat 8: scottc25 (120 in chips)
Seat 9: punker71 (2930 in chips)
punker71: posts small blind 10
grunter1: posts big blind 20
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to scottc25 [Ks Th]
jellysticks: calls 20
PokerDBqueeN: folds
Supersnorkel: folds
kensuro: folds
orangeflame: folds
scottc25: raises 100 to 120 and is all-in
punker71: folds
grunter1: calls 100
jellysticks: calls 100
*** FLOP *** [Jd 2s Tc]
grunter1: checks
jellysticks: checks
*** TURN *** [Jd 2s Tc] [5c]
grunter1: checks
jellysticks: checks
*** RIVER *** [Jd 2s Tc 5c] [Kh]
grunter1: checks
jellysticks: checks
*** SHOW DOWN ***
grunter1: shows [Qd 7d] (high card King)
jellysticks: shows [Js Qc] (a pair of Jacks)
scottc25: shows [Ks Th] (two pair, Kings and Tens)
scottc25 collected 370 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 370 | Rake 0
Board [Jd 2s Tc 5c Kh]
Seat 1: grunter1 (big blind) showed [Qd 7d] and lost with high card King
Seat 2: jellysticks showed [Js Qc] and lost with a pair of Jacks
Seat 3: PokerDBqueeN folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: Supersnorkel folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: kensuro folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: orangeflame folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: scottc25 (button) showed [Ks Th] and won (370) with two pair, Kings and Tens
Seat 9: punker71 (small blind) folded before Flop


Lucky river there for me. I chip up a little and get 10,10. There is one limper in the pot. I'm still in shove mode here as I have 10 BB's. Time to go with it. If I double here I am in good shape.

POKERSTARS GAME #11498808294: TOURNAMENT #57906358, $2.00+$0.20 HOLD'EM NO LIMIT - LEVEL III (25/50) - 2007/08/15 - 09:49:24 (ET)
Table '57906358 3' 9-max Seat #9 is the button
Seat 1: grunter1 (2240 in chips)
Seat 2: jellysticks (1615 in chips)
Seat 4: tayls1 (2380 in chips)
Seat 5: Cashius 202 (1825 in chips)
Seat 6: Towerhog (2965 in chips)
Seat 7: xalax (2060 in chips)
Seat 8: scottc25 (505 in chips)
Seat 9: punker71 (2460 in chips)
grunter1: posts small blind 25
jellysticks: posts big blind 50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to scottc25 [Ts Td]
tayls1: calls 50
Cashius 202: folds
Towerhog: folds
xalax: folds
scottc25: raises 455 to 505 and is all-in
punker71: folds
grunter1: folds
jellysticks: folds
tayls1: calls 455
*** FLOP *** [3d 2h Kc]
*** TURN *** [3d 2h Kc] [9s]
*** RIVER *** [3d 2h Kc 9s] [4h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
tayls1: shows [8d 8h] (a pair of Eights)
scottc25: shows [Ts Td] (a pair of Tens)
scottc25 collected 1085 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1085 | Rake 0
Board [3d 2h Kc 9s 4h]
Seat 1: grunter1 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 2: jellysticks (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 4: tayls1 showed [8d 8h] and lost with a pair of Eights
Seat 5: Cashius 202 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Towerhog folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: xalax folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: scottc25 showed [Ts Td] and won (1085) with a pair of Tens
Seat 9: punker71 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)


If I don't shove pre-flop I am not going to get anything from the caller after the flop. Good play for me. Blinds are now up to 50/100 and I am back down to <10BB's. I pick-up A,6 off and its folded to me on the button. Standard shove here as I am ahead of a random hand.

POKERSTARS GAME #11498884940: TOURNAMENT #57906358, $2.00+$0.20 HOLD'EM NO LIMIT - LEVEL IV (50/100) - 2007/08/15 - 09:57:09 (ET)
Table '57906358 3' 9-max Seat #8 is the button
Seat 1: grunter1 (2355 in chips)
Seat 2: jellysticks (1215 in chips)
Seat 3: jimc9 (4045 in chips)
Seat 4: tayls1 (3575 in chips)
Seat 5: Cashius 202 (1750 in chips)
Seat 6: Towerhog (2315 in chips)
Seat 7: xalax (3410 in chips)
Seat 8: scottc25 (935 in chips)
grunter1: posts small blind 50
jellysticks: posts big blind 100
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to scottc25 [Ah 6c]
jimc9: folds
tayls1: folds
Cashius 202: folds
Towerhog: folds
xalax: folds
scottc25: raises 835 to 935 and is all-in
grunter1: folds
jellysticks: calls 835
*** FLOP *** [As 5s Th]
Koba dread is connected
*** TURN *** [As 5s Th] [Qs]
*** RIVER *** [As 5s Th Qs] [5c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
jellysticks: shows [Qd Jh] (two pair, Queens and Fives)
scottc25: shows [Ah 6c] (two pair, Aces and Fives)
scottc25 collected 1920 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1920 | Rake 0
Board [As 5s Th Qs 5c]
Seat 1: grunter1 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 2: jellysticks (big blind) showed [Qd Jh] and lost with two pair, Queens and Fives
Seat 3: jimc9 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: tayls1 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Cashius 202 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Towerhog folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: xalax folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: scottc25 (button) showed [Ah 6c] and won (1920) with two pair, Aces and Fives


Now I'm back in business again and can pick my spots. I pop up to the next level of 75/150 and have been dealt a low PP for about the 7th time in this tourney and get to see a flop for cheap.

POKERSTARS GAME #11499025695: TOURNAMENT #57906358, $2.00+$0.20 HOLD'EM NO LIMIT - LEVEL V (75/150) - 2007/08/15 - 10:11:13 (ET)
Table '57906358 3' 9-max Seat #9 is the button
Seat 1: arctictisek (2345 in chips) out of hand (moved from another table into small blind)
Seat 2: NOA_04/2006 (4440 in chips)
Seat 3: jimc9 (3160 in chips)
Seat 4: tayls1 (2675 in chips)
Seat 5: Cashius 202 (3525 in chips)
Seat 6: rushcezar (6025 in chips)
Seat 7: xalax (5785 in chips)
Seat 8: scottc25 (1245 in chips)
Seat 9: Koba dread (3395 in chips)
NOA_04/2006: posts small blind 75
jimc9: posts big blind 150
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to scottc25 [4d 4h]
tayls1: calls 150
Cashius 202: folds
rushcezar: folds
xalax: folds
scottc25: calls 150
Koba dread: calls 150
NOA_04/2006: calls 75
jimc9: checks
*** FLOP *** [9c Ac 4s]
NOA_04/2006: checks
jimc9: checks
tayls1: checks
scottc25: bets 400
Koba dread: folds
NOA_04/2006: folds
jimc9: folds
tayls1: calls 400
*** TURN *** [9c Ac 4s] [5s]
tayls1: checks
scottc25: bets 695 and is all-in
tayls1: calls 695
*** RIVER *** [9c Ac 4s 5s] [Qd]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
tayls1: shows [Js Ah] (a pair of Aces)
scottc25: shows [4d 4h] (three of a kind, Fours)
scottc25 collected 2940 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 2940 | Rake 0
Board [9c Ac 4s 5s Qd]
Seat 2: NOA_04/2006 (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 3: jimc9 (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 4: tayls1 showed [Js Ah] and lost with a pair of Aces
Seat 5: Cashius 202 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: rushcezar folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: xalax folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: scottc25 showed [4d 4h] and won (2940) with three of a kind, Fours
Seat 9: Koba dread (button) folded on the Flop


My 400 bet on the flop here I admit is bad. I should check here or shove. It worked out and I am back to 20 BB's. Next level of 100/200 and I'm back down below 10 BB's and I am looking for a hand to shove with. A big stack UTG calls and I shove knowing I'm getting a call.

POKERSTARS GAME #11499135079: TOURNAMENT #57906358, $2.00+$0.20 HOLD'EM NO LIMIT - LEVEL VI (100/200) - 2007/08/15 - 10:22:07 (ET)
Table '57906358 12' 9-max Seat #9 is the button
Seat 1: nivek200 (3325 in chips)
Seat 2: tikamp (2530 in chips)
Seat 4: skalistair (16030 in chips)
Seat 5: TheFunster (6940 in chips)
Seat 6: xalax (4260 in chips)
Seat 7: PosseSheriff (3785 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 8: RevGoo (4440 in chips)
Seat 9: scottc25 (1840 in chips)
nivek200: posts small blind 100
tikamp: posts big blind 200
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to scottc25 [Ts Tc]
skalistair: calls 200
TheFunster: folds
xalax: folds
PosseSheriff: folds
RevGoo: folds
scottc25: raises 1640 to 1840 and is all-in
nivek200: folds
tikamp: folds
skalistair: calls 1640
*** FLOP *** [2s 9h 5c]
*** TURN *** [2s 9h 5c] [Ad]
*** RIVER *** [2s 9h 5c Ad] [9c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
skalistair: shows [Qs 6s] (a pair of Nines)
scottc25: shows [Ts Tc] (two pair, Tens and Nines)
scottc25 collected 3980 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 3980 | Rake 0
Board [2s 9h 5c Ad 9c]
Seat 1: nivek200 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 2: tikamp (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 4: skalistair showed [Qs 6s] and lost with a pair of Nines
Seat 5: TheFunster folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: xalax folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: PosseSheriff folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: RevGoo folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: scottc25 (button) showed [Ts Tc] and won (3980) with two pair, Tens and Nines


Hey 10,10 for like the 4th time in this tourney. 100/200/25 level now and I am in the BB. The player in EP min raises which he has been doing a lot and picing up pots. I am going to speculate and call to see what happens.

POKERSTARS GAME #11499248423: TOURNAMENT #57906358, $2.00+$0.20 HOLD'EM NO LIMIT - LEVEL VII (100/200) - 2007/08/15 - 10:33:15 (ET)
Table '57906358 12' 9-max Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: nivek200 (5100 in chips)
Seat 2: tikamp (2205 in chips)
Seat 4: skalistair (13865 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 5: TheFunster (8015 in chips)
Seat 6: xalax (3935 in chips)
Seat 7: PosseSheriff (3460 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 8: RevGoo (2615 in chips)
Seat 9: scottc25 (3955 in chips)
nivek200: posts the ante 25
tikamp: posts the ante 25
skalistair: posts the ante 25
TheFunster: posts the ante 25
xalax: posts the ante 25
PosseSheriff: posts the ante 25
RevGoo: posts the ante 25
scottc25: posts the ante 25
RevGoo: posts small blind 100
scottc25: posts big blind 200
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to scottc25 [5d Jd]
nivek200: folds
PosseSheriff has returned
tikamp: folds
skalistair: folds
TheFunster: raises 200 to 400
xalax: folds
PosseSheriff: folds
RevGoo: folds
scottc25: calls 200
*** FLOP *** [Jc Js 6s]
scottc25: checks
TheFunster: checks
*** TURN *** [Jc Js 6s] [2c]
scottc25: bets 700
TheFunster: calls 700
*** RIVER *** [Jc Js 6s 2c] [3d]
scottc25: bets 1200
TheFunster: calls 1200
*** SHOW DOWN ***
scottc25: shows [5d Jd] (three of a kind, Jacks)
TheFunster: mucks hand
scottc25 collected 4900 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 4900 | Rake 0
Board [Jc Js 6s 2c 3d]
Seat 1: nivek200 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: tikamp folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: skalistair folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: TheFunster mucked [2d Kh]
Seat 6: xalax folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: PosseSheriff (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: RevGoo (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 9: scottc25 (big blind) showed [5d Jd] and won (4900) with three of a kind, Jacks


Bingo on the flop and I get paid off on the end when the other guy has bottom pair. Wow, thanks. I'm now in good shape here and can basically fold into the seat. Only hand I am playing now is probably A,A with no big stack shoves in front of me. I get A,A UTG and shove showing the other big stacks at my table I have a good hand.

POKERSTARS GAME #11499448990: TOURNAMENT #57906358, $2.00+$0.20 HOLD'EM NO LIMIT - LEVEL IX (300/600) - 2007/08/15 - 10:51:33 (ET)
Table '57906358 12' 9-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: nivek200 (7250 in chips)
Seat 3: Cashius 202 (8450 in chips)
Seat 4: skalistair (14365 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 5: TheFunster (6100 in chips)
Seat 6: xalax (760 in chips)
Seat 7: PosseSheriff (2485 in chips)
Seat 8: pralade (5460 in chips)
Seat 9: scottc25 (6055 in chips)
nivek200: posts the ante 50
Cashius 202: posts the ante 50
skalistair: posts the ante 50
TheFunster: posts the ante 50
xalax: posts the ante 50
PosseSheriff: posts the ante 50
pralade: posts the ante 50
scottc25: posts the ante 50
xalax: posts small blind 300
PosseSheriff: posts big blind 600
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to scottc25 [Ad As]
pralade: folds
scottc25: raises 5405 to 6005 and is all-in
nivek200: folds
Cashius 202: folds
skalistair: folds
TheFunster: folds
xalax: calls 410 and is all-in
PosseSheriff: folds
*** FLOP *** [9h 7s 5d]
*** TURN *** [9h 7s 5d] [6d]
*** RIVER *** [9h 7s 5d 6d] [Jc]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
xalax: shows [Kc Ts] (high card King)
scottc25: shows [Ad As] (a pair of Aces)
scottc25 collected 2420 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 2420 | Rake 0
Board [9h 7s 5d 6d Jc]
Seat 1: nivek200 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: Cashius 202 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: skalistair folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: TheFunster (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: xalax (small blind) showed [Kc Ts] and lost with high card King
Seat 7: PosseSheriff (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 8: pralade folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: scottc25 showed [Ad As] and won (2420) with a pair of Aces


Now I can sit out and win a seat which I do. I followed it just in case something odd happens but I easily win the seat.


Some observations from this tourney really make me laugh and create the title of this entry. Example....

We are down to 35 people or so and ther are two stacks in the top 10. One of them shoves and the other calls. Stacks were 9k vs 6k. 9k has 10,10 and 6k has A,K. 10,10 holds and the other is eliminated. Both the shove and call are horrible with the call the worst of the two.

The last retarded play of the tourmanment was on the bubble. There is a short stack UTG with less than $100 left (playing 400/800). He shoves and the person next to act re-shoves for 6k. WTF is this guy thinking? You call here and let a few other call and make sure the shortie is busted. Not this guy. Retard shows AdKs and the shortie has 7s3s. Flop comes 2 spades, turn is the 3rd spade giving shortie the flush. River is the 4th spade and shortie is eliminated. I bet if you ask the retart he thinks that he made a good play here.

It amazes me how bad people play. Usually it seems the shortie survives and I end up on the bubble. Not this time though.